Needs

These needs remains unmet. I am actively working on a solution to address it.

Needs

1. I need to remember what I have learned and experienced so that I am prepared to apply these lessons in the fleeting moments where I have opportunities to do so.

2. I need to remember how and why I want to evolve so that I can resist reflexes to make choices borne out of an attraction to familiarity and a fear of uncertainty.

Context

The DailyNotes experiment was successful in so far as it helped me to develop a consistent writing practice and through it, identify things I thought to be true.

Although, the experiment left me with an unmet need. I wasn’t remembering these truths and my voice in the situations when I needed them most: the tiny, fast, reflexive moments in my everyday life where there were fleeting opportunities for me to put them into practice, to move in new ways, to make different choices instead of getting stuck in habits/ways of thinking that were no longer useful to me, and ultimately, to learn and evolve.

The above became clear to me in the summer of 2021.

I was feeling:

• Angry/sad when I would see other people publicly exploring ideas and remember all of the times that I’d been too afraid to do the same and

• Afraid of a future where I looked back on a life that didn't feel like "mine." [i]

I brought language to these feelings and this need in a moment where I had become confident I was capable of evolving when certain conditions were met, clear enough about what I thought those conditions were, and motivated by the prospect of a future where I felt lighter.

With the above in place, I began experimenting with solutions.

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i. I feel like "mine" doesn't quite capture what I'm trying to express here. Tho, it's a start.